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Photo: JoJo Siwa via YouTube

There’s a chill in the air, the Sweat Tour is still chugging along, and there are two Halloweekends this October. That’s right — Halloween 2024 falls on a Thursday, which means that the weekends on either end are both primed for theme dressing. Plus, there’s the actual Halloween, which you can celebrate, too. You could end up clubbing one weekend, trick-or-treating on the 31st, then attending house parties the next weekend. And nothing is scarier than a full calendar. Luckily for you, the Vulture brain trust has come up with a pop-cultural costume appropriate for every person, in every mood, for any spooky occasion. Which one is right for you?

Pop-Culture Costumes Unafraid to Reference

If you’ve got a teeny-tiny dog …
You can be Demi Moore carrying around Pilaf everywhere she goes.

If you’ve got multiple parties to hit, and also own a teeny-tiny dog …
Make all of Glen Powell’s Hit Man disguises and carry Brisket.

If you want to be sexually confusing in a Looney Tunes way …
Go as Sabrina Carpenter in her “yoo-hoo boys!” outfit from Vogue World.

If you have a signature laugh …
Then wear JoJo Siwa’s “Karma” costume — the only trick is that you have to be willing to do the dance.

If you want to smoke …
Go as Rosalía at Charli XCX’s birthday. (And your boyfriend can be Jeremy Allen White.)

If you’re mad they canceled The View’s Halloween episode
Mourn your loss as Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano as a Na’vi. Yes, this one requires prosthetics.

If you want an excuse to buy a new phone case …
Then you’re Al Pacino and his Shrek phone.

If you want an excuse to not bring your baby to the party …
Then you’re Al Pacino and his 1-year-old baby that he texts (presumably from his Shrek phone).

If you already own a bowl-cut wig …
Ariana Grande as Antonio the castrato on Saturday Night Live is for you.

If you were in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died …
Be Madame Web. This is easiest to pull off after she gets her powers, but, fair warning, you will be bumping into tables all night.

If you are a couple and you love each other so much to the point where it’s annoying …
Be Lucky Blue and Nara Smith in their GQ photo shoot. At least you’ll look beautiful.

If you are a couple in a codependent artistic relationship …
Nicole Scherzinger and Jamie Lloyd have their production of Sunset Boulevard on Broadway right now!

If you are in a polycule that might break up at any moment …
Need to be the Talking Heads.

If you are in a polycule that might break up at any moment, but you can’t agree on who gets to be David Byrne …
Any group of contestants from The Traitors.

If you are a gay couple …
Mario and Luigi!

… But you really like Ryan Murphy … 
Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story.

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